One of the hardest yet least considered aspects of losing a spouse is going home to an empty bed. The following tips can help you settle your mind and body so you can get to sleep.
Go outside. When you’re depressed and your sleep schedule is mess, you don’t feel like seeing the sun. But the sun is exactly what you need right now. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, sun exposure can recalibrate your circadian rhythm and get your body back on schedule.
Make your room your own. If it has been weeks, months or even years after your spouse’s death and you haven’t redecorated your room, it’s time. While there is nothing wrong with holding on to memories and physical keepsakes, it’s time to turn the page to the next chapter of your own life. If you’re not yet ready to get rid of your spouse’s belongings, store them until you are ready. You can tuck them away in your home somewhere safe, or, if you don’t have the space, rent a storage unit until it is time. Units aren’t too expensive and can be rented for fairly cheap. In the Cincinnati area, price of a 5’x5’ self-storage unit averaged around $45.67 over the last six months.
Stop drinking coffee after noon. Coffee does a great job of helping us to stay awake, but it can also keep our eyes wide open into the wee hours of the morning. Depending on how your body metabolizes caffeine, it can stick with you for many hours after consumption.
Ditch the devices. Your cell phone, tablet, television and laptop computer may help keep you entertained and connected to the rest of the world, but they also emit blue light that keeps your brain active. You should try to avoid screen time 30 minutes before you plan to go to bed.
Avoid junk food before bed. There’s no doubt that hunger can keep you up at night, but so can feeling bogged down by your dinner. Food affects our sleep in so many ways and sometimes not for the good. Greasy, fried and high-fiber foods can make us feel bloated and can wreak havoc on our digestive systems. Saatva Mattress contributor Joel Gross lists milk and cereal, celery, ice cream, pizza and bacon cheeseburgers on his list of foods to nix from the nighttime menu.
Sweat. Exercise is good for you for a number of reasons, including having a positive effect on your sleep pattern. Regular physical activity can improve quality and duration of sleep and will also help you relieve stress and anxiety.
Change your mattress. Along the same vein as creating a space that’s personal for you consider finding yourself a new mattress that caters to your sleep style. Different types of mattresses are best for different sleep positions. For example, if you tend to rest better on your back, you’ll need a more supportive mattress whereas side sleeping necessitates a softer surface that will conform to your body’s curves.
Crank up the A.C. If your air conditioner has ever stopped working in the middle of summer, you know how hard it can be to fall asleep in the heat. But even if it’s not 95 degrees, turning your air conditioner down at night has many benefits. SleepAdvisor.org suggests that falling asleep in a cold room, between 60 and 68 degrees, helps your body create melatonin, the sleep hormone.
Get cozy under a weighted blanket. Your bedroom should be cold but you should be warm under your covers. If your bed is comfortable and conditions are otherwise perfect for slumber but you still find yourself tossing and turning, weighted blankets, which range from $45 to $110, can help you settle down by telling your brain it’s time to produce serotonin, a hormone that precedes melatonin.
A good night sleep can help you be more physically and emotionally prepared to handle the loss during this difficult time. It may seem like a small thing now, but a peaceful night can help you get through the next day.
Guest Blogger Sara Bailey. After losing her husband Greg, Sara Bailey created TheWidow.net to support her fellow widows and widowers. She is also the author of the upcoming book: Hope and Help After Loss: A Guide For Newly Widowed Parents.
