Showing Up

I just came back from a very intense weekend. I attended a workshop called Mastery of Self-Expression. It is best to explain it in their own words:

“The MASTERY workshops will help you uncover and discover your hidden passion, your true calling. But it doesn’t end there. You will have the tools and ongoing support to enrich every aspect of your life. To be bold. To live with purpose. To connect. To get what you want. To go beyond where you always stop.”  ( http://www.themasteryworkshops.com/ )

I have to admit that the workshop did take me beyond where I always stop. I have been hiding me most of my life. I hid when I was young, always doing what I was told, finding ways to serve people. This is not to say, I was the ‘perfect child,’ even if my brother claims I was.  As I grew older, I went to college, met new people, tried new things and learned a hell of a lot about me. I felt very free in college, but I still hid. Then I got married, had a couple of kids and worked as the ‘bread winner’ for over 30 years.

Again I hid, not only who I was, but my voice as well.

A couple of years before my husband died, I started to wake up and the struggle to come out of hiding and sharing my voice started. I started to stand up for myself and become more vocal to the point, my late husband once told me that he didn’t think he liked me anymore. He would ask me, “Where was the sweet Gretchen I married?”  It took me awhile, but what I realized what he didn’t like was that I was standing up for myself, voicing my opinions, my desires and my dreams. I was coming out of my shell.  The one I created when I entered school and left the open, lively, and mischievous child behind.

Coming out of my shell, being bold, alive, open and heard is now my ultimate goal!

Taking the mastery workshop was a good start. The first rendition of my monologue was okay. But Larry asked me to do it again as a Southern evangelist, full of energy, voice and from the heart. What a difference it made for me! Not only was it fun, but I really felt alive! I went beyond where I always stop. I actually showed up!

After this weekend, hiding is no longer an option. It is time to show up fully and completely. No more excuses, just frickin do it!!

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